Hero

The Dreamer is inside of a large aircraft hangar, or warehouse, with a group of unknown people. For some reason, the large roller doors slam shut and water starts filling up the space. The Dreamer watches as an unknown military man makes a heroic effort, in sacrificing himself to open the doors for everyone. In the process he cuts his hand on a piece of glass.

Then the Dreamer is in a helicopter flying over a college town.

Then the Dreamer is in a crowded college hallway. He sees his teacher Dan Burks, a former military man. Dan Burks confronts the Dreamer and asks him why he had to leave Fairfield, Iowa. The Dreamer says he had to leave to make a life for himself. The military man says no you did not have to do that. The Dreamer says yes I did. The military man says I understand, but he is not sincere. Then he starts crying his eyes out.

Then the Dreamer is inside of his college dormitory room. There is the hero standing in front of him. The hero has a wall full of mementos; these mementos are like little prayer books; books of the dead. The hero recites some random psalm. Then the Dreamer looks inside and sees that his name is written in the hero’s book. Then the Dreamer sees that the hero has “Alf” paraphenalia all over his walls. “I was a big fan of Alf too,” the Dreamer says.

Then the Dreamer is inside of the store, Pacific Sunwear; a store where he used to buy “punk clothes” when he was young. He is standing in line, like a judge. Then one of the shopkeepers dresses him in green pants, green sweater, and green shoes; all are too baggy and big for the Dreamer. Then the Dreamer takes off the shirt and looks for another one. He goes to the sale rack, doesn’t see anything he likes, then thinks to himself I don’t have to shop from the sale rack anymore. Then he goes to the dressing room and his creative friend Manuel is there. Manuel offers fashion advice and talks to the Dreamer about his family.

Then the Dreamer is walking naked in the halls of a college dormitory and he has to pee. He waits in line. Then a high school friend Eamon Murphy appears next to him in line. They go into the bathroom together, and go to stalls right next to each other, and pee at the same pace. The Dreamer finishes a little bit before Eamon, but he pretends that he has not finished. It’s a literal pissing contest. Then the Dreamer exits the bathroom and sees an old high school friend Mike Calcaterra; Mike is not too bright. He is doing some homework.

Then the Dreamer puts on a purple silk robe and he is walking the halls of the dormitory. There is some kind of constant competition happening in the dorm. The Dreamer is a part of the competition: it has to do with elevators. Some students are taking a big medieval elevator. Then the Dreamer is hovering in the air, to make his elevator selection from a big screen that is floating high above. Some other student asks the Dreamer for help because he cannot reach that high. The Dreamer uses his hovering power to reluctantly help the other person, but the hover is losing strength and the Dreamer has to rely on muscle. He helps the other person but at the cost of missing his own elevator down.

Then the Dreamer is outside of his grandparents house, in his grandfather Paul’s garden. The garden bed is all packed up, like a mattress, ready to be moved. The Dreamer understands that this is his inheritance. Then Grandfather Paul is there. He shows the Dreamer that underneath the soil bed is a carrot: it’s half a carrot, kind of stubby like a shriveled penis. Paul explains that this one carrot is capable of making many carrots. Then Paul turns the bed over and there are more vegetables growing underneath. Then there is a wooden desk with some items inside of it. The Dreamer’s family are fighting over these possessions, but the Dreamer understands that the vegetable garden is a better value.

Then the Dreamer is in his psychoanalysts’ office. She is looking at a multiple choice personality assessment on a computer screen. The Dreamer arrives too early and she tells him to go away. The Dreamer looks at his own screen, which shows a different kind of personality assessment; more like the blueprint of a complicated psychological machine.

Then the Dreamer is inside of a college mess hall. The hero is there too. The Dreamer asks the hero for some money to buy something from the mess hall. Instead, the hero whispers something in the Dreamer’s ear, but the Dreamer cannot hear. He tries again to whisper, closer. The Dreamer still cannot hear. The hero walks away, angry. The Dreamer calls after him and says but I can’t hear, I have a hearing impairment.

Feelings: quite a bit of inflation (heroic behavior, being ok in the hero’s book, hovering, pissing contest, intellectual superiority); insecurity (at being different, creative, not a heroic type); a sense of authenticity in the garden; confusion about the psychoanalysts’ view of the world; curiosity about the psychological machine; disappointment that the hero values are no longer “profitable”…

Interpretation: This is a dream about coming to terms with the father complex, about the dreamer’s sense of masculinity, of what makes a man. The Dreamer has romanticized the unfeeling, disciplinarian, religious, loyal, pissing contest type, superior in all masculine ways, tightwad, normally dressing, military man as a hero figure. The Dreamer has taken on that persona, and this (wounded) hero persona is broken. It is not authentic to the Dreamer. The Dreamer is more like a creative, outer space ant-eater alien loving, gardener type. The Dreammaker is suggesting that the Dreamer “let down” the hero complex and “get back to his roots” on what is authentic to him.